Dusting Off the Netflix Journal

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story -- Is this The Head's Gigli? Well, on this one I almost agree with you Head. Myself, I rank it below Starsky & Hutch, and above Duplex. And I haven't even seen Duplex. It was elongated Staurday Night Live Skit good. There were some laughs to be had but it barely justified it's spot on the queue. Make sure you're drinking some beers durring this one because by the time the 20th dodgeball hits the 20th set of testicals, inebriation must be in place. The thing that really soured me on the whole thing was the "Alternative Ending". The director mentions the word "art", and (not to spoil anything for you, but) it's not an alternative ending but rather an abrupt ending where they simply stop the movie short by five minutes. I'm calling bullshit on this. The guy's trying to make his one joke movie into Rocky. You made some funny commercials and an okay movie, be happy and hope Ben tosses you some more cash. [2.5 out of 5]

Incident at Loch Ness -- Like Nessie, it's an odd beast. Screenwriter Zak Penn crafted a sort of mockumentary within a fake movie wherein he gets Werner Herzog to go out and try to crack the mystery of the Loch Ness Monster. It is fun though. Moreso if you're familiar with Herzog's history of madness--it's pretty much playing off of his reputation and isn't ashamed of itself with trying to recreate the brilliant documentry of Herzog's Fitzcarraldo -- Burden Of Dreams. Unfortunately that movie isn't on DVD yet. But it does a great job of playing it completely straight-faced and getting you to wish it were true, which in turn makes it a fun ride. [3 out of 5]

Beyond Re-Animator -- Disapointment. I don't know what I was expecting. I figured it'll be a fun enough 90 minutes -- dishing out the dark humor, gore and T&A of the original. Well, sadly, this one's still running at 50%. I'd heard it was an improvement on Bride of the Re-Animator. To tell you the truth all I remember is being a bit frustrated with that one and this is no different. Stuart Gordon's King of the Ants, which I told you all about a while back, is much better time spent. His grasp on the horror/comedy balance that was in the original is still sorely missing here. Some of you, as I did, may still think it's worth the price to see a mouse kung-fu fight a penis -- but trust me, its not worth 80 minutes of cringing. [2 out of 5]

The Nest -- This one's worth checking out. A French take on what's become the Assault on Precinct 13 genre. There's a wharehouse with some goods that 3 crooks are after. This happens to be the same wharehouse the police are going to hideaway their tranporting crime boss -- that of course his henchmen are going to storm to try and free him... The bandits and the cops band together, blah blah blah... But, we have on our side some good perfomances, some nice camera work, pacing, tension, it all works out. This came out before the recent AOP 13 remake that recently came out and got the director the job of Bruce Willis' recent movie Hostage. I'll give it [3.25 out of 5] (that's right, I'm taking it to quarters).

Black Sunday -- Holy shit, where's this movie been in my life? The fucking opening credits to this movie say it all. Staring Robert Shaw and Bruce Dern. Produced by Robert fucking Evans. Co-written by guys who wrote the Hitchcock and Lumet movies of the 60s. This one's a keeper. Dern (a shamefully underused actor) is a pissed off POW vet that has a job flying the Goodyear blimp. His terrorist girlfriend has a cause and some use for his anger and skills. I had this on my queue and meant to watch it around Super Sunday time... and damnit, it's good enough to put it back up there next year. [4 out of 5]

Visitor Q -- Okay. You've seen a couple of Miike movies and want to put a few more on the queue. Hell, the guy's pretty entertaining. I've seen Ichi, and the DOA trilogy, Gozu was a fun trip, let's keep the ball rolling... Or maybe we should take a break. That's what I thought after this one. It's a nasty, cringing, bad fucking taste of a movie. Yeah, I know he can push the buttons to make you uncofortable -- but this one is full-tilt darkness. Netflix has this to say: If you liked: Gummo, Irreversible, Julien Donkey-Boy, Desperate Living, Dead or Alive, Videodrome, then you might like this. That's pretty damn appropriate. And yes, I liked those movies, but the closest of those is Julien Donkey-Boy. And of those movies, that's the one I enjoyed the least. I liked it, but fuck, it's not something that I'll be re-watching or recommending to a lot of people. [3 out of 5]

Okay, here's my plan for a little while -- for any of those still out there who give a damn -- my promise to you is at the very least a Monday night update. Or rather, something to check out on a Tuesday.

And for shits and giggles here's something to reflect upon. Myself, my parents had a rotary phone around well into my late childhood (late 80's). A green one, you'd pick it up and then the big ol' dial showed itself -- I love this little movie... Click the pic.
thanks kittenpants.